A Thank You Note to 2024

Dec 10, 2024

Tuesday 10th December 2024

If you could send a message of gratitude to 2024, what would you thank it for?

Dear 2024,

Gratitude has played a major part in my life this year understandably. I seem to remember waking on January 1st with a naive sense of, ‘thank god that’s behind me’. I’d already taken down the Christmas decorations in anticipation of launching into 2024 somewhat battered and bruised (literally) but still full of hope, albeit a bit wonky.

As I’m writing this the image of waking up after a bad night’s sleep or even an evening of heavy drinking comes to mind. That feeling of being totally disorientated whilst quickly tracking back in your mind over the past 12 hours or so to see what I remember and whether it was a bad dream or had actually happened. Bone weary (and again literally).

I’d not done any reflections like I’m doing this year, I was simply grateful to be alive and in one piece. So I began the year with gratitude for this one, very, precious life. And perhaps that’s one of the most treasured things to have begun the year with. A new respect for the preciousness of life, this tightrope we walk that is our human experience. I’ve learned to hold it with care in my hands, this is my one, wild and precious life after all.

The other message of gratitude I have for you 2024 is to thank you for the boundaries you set for me, the container within which to come back to life. I had all sorts of imagined ideas of how I’d simply bounce back to life, unscathed by the cancer I’d been through. Maybe that was just my innocent hope. You showed me time and time again that my focus this year had to be on rest, recovery and reflection in order to move back out into the world. You showed me quite abruptly that when I did too much you’d have the plug pulled out and I could do nothing but rest. I did find it frustrating - you know that. I cried so many tears. How was it this year post treatment felt even harder than enduring week on week of painful and exhausting chemotherapy? I didn’t understand that. Nobody tells you that.

I rested and felt more peaceful. The more I rested the more I could feel myself again - slowly resurfacing from the bottom of the ocean, pausing for decompression as a deep sea diver would.

I’ve been humbled again and again by my own learning in what recovery looks like for me. I also learned not to spend too much time in the cancer recovery arena on social media - everyone’s recovery looks different and it’s so hard not to compare someone else’s journey to your own.

2024, I’m grateful for the kindness and love I now wrap myself in. I write through tears - I am now my own best friend. It’s taken 61 years and breast cancer to learn this lesson. Thank you for this beautiful lesson.

With love

Rebecca x

A Thank You Note to 2024

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